Identity

Proverbs 25:11

"Like apples of gold in settings of silver

is a word spoken in right circumstances."

I like to think of them as the Lord's Truth Fruit!

When do we learn or realize who we are? "Who are you?" Most of us answer that question by the things we do or by the different relationships we have and the roles we play in those relationships. But that's not who I am. It's taken me a while to know who I am. I am a woman who appreciates and thrives in nature. I have a keen sensing of others feelings. I like to engage strangers in a checkout line or the clerk and make it a goal of making them smile. I like to give compliments. Yet, I feel that I swing from being mentally stable to schizophrenic!!! I'm mostly positive but can swing judgmental on a bad day. I like people. Some more than others!

This past year has been a year of discovering who God says I am. I fought Him much of the time. I fought by not believing Him. I allowed my back story, which has had a huge voice all my life, define, override, and replace any truth of which He's been trying to convince me. Why do I fight against His truth? Especially truth about myself? He tells me I'm worthy and I come back quickly and say no way. I just called God a liar. He tells me that I'm forgiven and I allow my feelings to dismiss His sublime act. I make Him out as a liar. He tells me that He's always near and I frantically call out, "Where are You?" I disbelieve His nearness. What happened to my knowledge that God does not lie? Why didn't my firm belief that He cannot lie kick in?

Because...

I gave my eyes, ears, emotions over to the one who is a Liar. I am a fool to think that my daily going-ons are not fodder for satan's prime tool of making God out to be the liar. It was the first tool he used on Mother Eve. Convincing her that all God said to her, about her, for her, wasn't true. And she plucked! And I find myself at times plucking away at those forbidden fruits.

I learned this year that the best way to not default in giving The Liar my eyes, ears, emotions is to act on my belief of God's absolute loving Presence. When I first asked forgiveness in 1971 for my sin, He forgave. That instant, He supernaturally covered and filled me with Himself. How He does that, I've no clue. I knew I was different. I had an insatiable hunger to know more. I got into Bible Studies that were amazing. I learned and gobbled up truth. Yet, the day to day of life always tests truth.

Life tests our identity. Our identity is in God's truth.

My identity is in Him. For 42 years now, it has been a daily work in whether I will pluck the "apple of deceit" or Truth's Apples of Gold.

I have to say, I'm going to be extremely picky over what I'm plucking from now on. Whatever I choose to pick says a lot about who I am and whom I'm going to believe...the liar or The Truth.