Golly!

I have a new favorite word--golly!  Two Words:  Downton Abbey. Lord Grantham's favorite word used to express inexplicable news, ideas, or situations.  I rather like the way it rolls off the tongue.  Sounds sophisticated! Golly!

Golly! Has it been almost three years since I've posted. The purpose in creating this blog was for my own cathartic health. Doesn't mean I have or haven't been healthy mentally, spiritually, or emotionally in the last several years...but it does mean that life goes on. And for the most part it's been maturing and tedious. It's been enlightening and at times, feeling like I'm still in the dark. Again, that's life...golly!

I've found some new authors. They are rather off the beaten path. Not the normal Christian bookstore type. Off their rocker types! Arthur Burke, Paul Cox, Paul Virkler...men and their wives who love the Lord like nobody's business...that's undeniable. Strange teachings, far-fetched at times, new language, and new concepts. All of which are up my alley. All of which scare me. All of which means God is up to something.

I emailed a friend late, late last night expressing my last couple of weeks.

Golly, this is reminiscent of a sleepless night about 6 years ago. The desert years! Reading your Christmas email on that night, going to your blog brought the best drink my spirit had ever had. So, I went to see if you had posted anything recently. God is... can’t find the right word, so I’ll leave it at that!

It’s been a rough couple of weeks.  I’ve never had such a quick dive into the depths of “yuck”! I feel like I’m in this huge industrial mixing bowl and whatever recipe has the most ingredients, well, that’s me and those contents in that gigantic bowl. 

I just realized that I may have discovered the “what’s up” with this?   

Father is mixing up something and I’m fighting it. Why am I wanting to know what all the ingredients are? Is that why this feels so intense, so suddenly? If I just let Him mix it all up and I quit trying to keep each ingredient separate; trying to “identify” it, let Him have control of the mixer and let Him blend away....because I don’t think I want Him to mix another batch like this one!!!! So who cares if I don't know what all the “stuff” is? Maybe He’ll let me find the recipe card after this thing is baked! I think I best let the beaters have their way and let Him get on with the folding and blending.

All my props that have served me well, are not working. Self-sufficiency isn’t so sufficient anymore. I’ve found the con side of control! Bossy doesn’t make for happy hubby! And my take charge and ‘git-her-done’ comes off with an abrasive tone. (So my daughter ever so lovingly and gently revealed. Thank God for only daughters who have surpassed their mothers' in godliness.)

Is this what maturity in the faith is? Throwing into our spirits the deeper ingredients and stirring us into holier people? Praying for Him to make sure we live out the purpose for which He created us. Being more Christ-like than last year. (Easy words to pray and mean at the time but when He starts answering, ouch, that hurts!) Reading the Word and it falls flat. Read the same passage again in a week and I fall flat on my face!

It’s been a good thing that only God has been able to read my thoughts lately. Because He loves me no matter what. But that’s also cause to tremble. He performs His Word, and, I have asked Him to do whatever has to be done in order for me to “be” what He has created me to be; to “do” what He has created me to do; and to love Him at the maximum of my capacity. Gimme, Juanita, haven’t you figured out God answers prayers that align with His will?

Jesus says to follow Him.
Jesus says to fill up His suffering.
Jesus says to bear all things.

Jesus says that He is in me and I am in Him.  Mix away, Father, mix away!

All I have to say is:  GOLLY!