Sleepless Two Years Ago

(Found this in my draft box! Thought it goes well with the previous post--time flies!)

Daughter and I are awake in the middle of the night. She is watching videos on YouTube. I am reading Richard Foster's book, Prayer: Finding the Heart's True Home.

Why are we still awake:  I drank two Mountain Dews at 9:00pm. Daughter is still on west coast time.

Both of us are hungering. Searching. Feeling the pull...The Pull. He touches us in our own uniqueness.

It's been a year since I've posted anything to this blog. What words could spill out of me that would satisfy the need of putting down my thoughts? Why have I wanted to do this? There is a need to "get out" what is festering, bothering, tormenting, consuming, nagging, overwhelming, thrilling, and driving me. A year ago, daughter was leaving to go home with her boys. In two days, they board a plane and the vacancy is relived.

I smile when I see these pool balls clustered together.
When daughter and the three grandsons are on the plane,
I'll look outside and the memories will be as vivid as the color
on these balls. I pray this picture be symbolic of three brothers
who will ever be close as they fulfill their God-given destinies. 

We have talked. Jesus. Both of us journeying. I know her desperation. I know her torments of inadequacies. I know her desperation of parenting. She has done much better than her mother. I am proud of this only daughter.

Jesus, You are always present. In this, middle of night, you are God with us. What have we made hard, that you long to reveal is quite simple? What have we made complicated, that you want to untangle? What have we concocted, that you want to redirect? What have we missed, that you want us to find?

Daughter and I battle our thoughts and feelings and are learning to resist the consuming audios that rob us of Your love and joy. It is a mystery, this grace of Yours. We are tired making it into what it is not. Help us both to trust Your truth. Letting Your truth guide our trust.

Sunrise is coming. I have to say, a nap may be on the day's agenda!

Insignificant Days Shape Character

How do people blog everyday? At first it was exciting because it was new; and in my case cathartic. So now it's old and I'm "catharted" out!  At least publicly!

Each day is part of a journey. A day, in and of itself, doesn't seem significant unless there is something major or out of the ordinary happening--to my thinking!. But those so-called insignificant days really are the most significant part of our lives.

I've been reading a book called, The Order of Melchizedek by Ian Clayton. I've only gotten through the first chapter and so far that first chapter is all yellow!!! Marked! Underscored! Comments in the margins! Not sure 'churchianity' would "ok" the author or the book! My year of insignificant days has lead me to this place, time, and author. A year of studying and musing the book of Hebrews embedded a quest with many questions and conversations about Melchizedek the priest; whom Abraham ran into as chronicled in the book of Genesis. (11 Intriguing facts about Melchizedek:  http://overviewbible.com/melchizedek-facts/)

There are significant things in each day...whether we recognize them or not. And we usually don't! As a believer in Jesus Christ, each moment is part of eternity. The Forever Now! Time is only a concept for the time we live in our physical bodies on this earth. Yet as a believer, I am more spirit and soul according to the scriptures. Jesus says that He is in us and we are in Him. Where He is, is where I am! He says He is with the Father in the heavenlies. So where am I? I'm with Him and He is with me during these insignificant days full of significant moments. If He is with the Father, seated with Him, could it be that I too am in the heavenlies? No wonder these moments are significant if the answer to that question is yes! The trick is to keep this astounding revelation at the forefront of my conscience. This opens up new seeing! It enhances listening! It pushes and stretches. With new discoveries, come new chapters in daily trusting.

Ian Clayton states in his book, it's all about character building.

Question! As old as I am, isn't my character pretty established for the remainder of my time on earth? My "formative years" are pretty much behind me, but yes, there is room for improvement. Is the goal for a new and improved Juanita? Not necessarily!

The new seeing, new listening, new formation of character isn't so much about Juanita, but who am I projecting through & by my character. If Juanita is what people, relationships, strangers come away with then I am diluting the image of Christ. My life is to exude and/or reflect the One who created me. And my reflective character of Jesus is a daily, on-going lifestyle. What's the formula for daily significance in the character development of reflecting Jesus? Loving God. Loving myself. Loving others. These are the witnesses of character building in Jesus, of Jesus, for Jesus.

One of those insignificant days
while at Myrtle Beach this year.
God's magnificent and significant sunrise.

Here I sit. A year and half later.  Writing a blog and sifting through past times in an effort to put into words how different I am from the last time I sat here. I feel different. I know I'm different. LOTS of my beliefs have been challenged. Lots of beliefs expanded, moved deeper, and taken on unexplainable life. To summarize I think I would say, I've gotten a teensy, weensy, ever so small glimpse of eternity. There are no words to describe what awaits us beyond the bounds of this dimension on earth. Exploring and submitting to the character building that daily insignificances perform truly do add up to a year and a half of Christ significance.

I have to say, it may take another year and half to live out what I learned in the last year and half!