I'm Their Mother

Spring Transforms One Bud at a Time

A most important task happens to be one of my earthly desires. But that desire's heart definitely is tied to heaven. You see, way, way back before any atom was "spoken" to group together to form all those created things told of in Genesis, My Father Creator had thoughts of me:  wondrously, not only me but all those through whom I passed and those who will pass through me. I know intimately the first & second generation that have come after me. It is for them that this task & desire is desperate to be started and finished.

All those things I wish I had told my children, what I am now telling my grandchildren (and still feel inadequate in doing so), the deep things of my rickety journey with my Friend, the Lover of my Soul, My All-in-All, this is what I want to leave them. Not material things, but eternal things.

I want them to know while they were wiped, dressed, herded, punished, chased, played with, hugged, kissed, ignored, listened to, lectured to, spoiled in the wrong way, and loved in the right way...their mother, woman-child was learning too. I pray the Lord will redeem their mother's reflection of Jesus into "rightful" memories. Those mirrored times when I felt the mirror was fractured and cracked, it wasn't. The shiny implement was only a tool. It was the person it copied that was distorted. I remember vividly moments I thought and spoke out loud, "I wish I could hurry this part of my life." My heart squeezes at how "hurry" fast it went. I missed opportunities. But I didn't know. Now I do.

I'd like for them to know:  I have made the simplest graces of God, hard. I have made the hardest graces of God, wrongly simple. I hounded on the "law" instead of honing His love. "Love covers a multitude of sin."

I cannot wash away my yesterdays' regrets with my three blood gifts. But I can bathe them in Jesus's blood-prayers and trust Him when He says He will complete what He starts...in them and in me. I would die for my three blood gifts and my eight great-blood gifts. I understand to the depth that I am able, His heart on Calvary in His death for us...me, my past blood-line, and my future blood-line...they are all His.

I want to give my children a journal/photo-book--I'm their mother and I want them to know this transforming journey that I'm on.

I have to say, the Lord can transform regrets. He can transform anything. Look at Calvary...the ugliness before, transformed to utter glory and joy after...blessed resurrection morn!